Certain times, just make you miserable.

And that certain time, for me, was today:

Melissa: I’m so bored and in so much pain. I want to murder a puppy and drown a baby.
Maddie: Don’t kill the puppy. Kill 2 babies instead.
Melissa: …ok.
Maddie: Actually…maybe murder is a bad choice. Try ibuprofen?
Melissa: Been there, done that. I need a harpoon.
Maddie: You want messy murder…man that must be rough.
Melissa: Actually I was gonna harpoon out my uterus.
Maddie: Oh, gotcha. You may need that…just saying.
Melissa: Well, I figured if I could get “pregnant” without having sex, I could get pregnant without a uterus.
Maddie: HAHAHAHAHA!! melissa for the win.